Monday, January 23, 2012

Where do I sign!

When my best friend borrowed $1000 from me, he insisted that he pay interest as he didn't want to see me out of pocket for his use of my money. Of course, this was after he had asked all his other mates to lend to him as well. So I had even won a bidding war with the lowest interest rate charged.

Great, in one year I would receive $1050 for my trouble.

But the year came and went, and I didn't get my money back. Turned out my friend had spent it on increasing his retirement plan and also a new gun. But I had believed he was such a good risk, after all, he had assets that looked real juicy. Paper gold ETFs and a bunch of other mortgage backed derivatives. He even belonged to a club that guaranteed his debts as long as he kept them below 3% of his budget.

But he succumbed to temptation and borrowed too much. Naturally, his club got mad and banned him from coming to meetings.

It was kinda sad for my friend, but his fault I guess. But a funny thing happened. I managed to get my money back. The club contacted me privately with an offer. I learned from sources that they had a money printing machine out in the back room. It seems they were great counterfeiters. Who knew?

As long as no one dobbed them in, they would be willing to cover the debts of club members. They would do it through a complex system of fancy names and bank accounts to fool the police. All I had to do was not tell anyone my friend had defaulted. So I played the game and as promised, the money turned up.

Next day I went into the barbers for a haircut and wondered how I could increase the loans to my friend by a factor of at least two and perhaps ask for a better interest rate. I had these guys over a barrel and the sky was the limit. In fact I could take out insurance from the same dodgy banks the club used and win either way.

Where do I sign!

Gold in New Zealand dollars: $2067.98 per oz
Previous all-time high: $2311.02 per oz (15 Nov, 2011)

Silver in New Zealand dollars: $39.95 per oz
Previous all-time high: $59.19
per oz (30 Apr, 2011)

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1 comment:

  1. Great post!

    I heard a rumour that a decidedly miniature and somewhat untrustworthy person wants to join the club this week as well. Even with all the underhanded and back-room, shady dealings we've all heard about. Perhaps they've heard great things about the club, such as how some members contribute more and how the rest live well outside their means and they want in while everyone's distracted.

    But maybe this guy just wants protection from the other clubs forming where he lives. I know which club I'd like to belong to, so I can't really blame him, and the way they keep handing down wads of cash as if they were buckets of water to keep their members afloat, who wouldn't want in? Let the good times roll.

    (Croatia BTW)